Life as a parent isn’t always easy, as you’ve got tons of responsibilities and things to do. Combining your job, the household, parenthood and a relationship can definitely result in quite some stress.
A study has shown that a large number of wives believe that their husbands are a (much) bigger source of stress than the children.
The main reason why? It’s because apparently, their husbands tend to behave like children as well. Some of the women involved in the study even laughingly said there’s barely a difference in the mannerisms of their husband and kids. Even though it’s often told as a joke, there are some studies that would support this claim.
For example, a British study claims that men reach their ’emotional maturity’ much later than women do. Both men and women agree that males tend to have immature traits well into their early 40s, while women mature a good ten years earlier. Eight out of ten women involved in this study even think that men never stop being immature.
Now of course, ‘immature’ is quite a broad term. However, things such as burping, eating plenty of fast food, excessively playing video games or showing off were all factors that were taken into account in this research paper. Some prefer to call it the ‘Peter Pan syndrome’.
A separate study about the stress levels of wives reveal some interesting results.
With almost half of the correspondents saying that their husbands are the largest source of stress – which was a larger percentage than children – the results might surprise some.
“A 7-year-old is going to be a 7-year-old. But a 35-year-old acting like a 7-year-old is more stressful, because they should know better,” one the correspondents told.
“Often times it seems like I am the only adult in my house. My husband and daughter compete with me for my attention,” another added.
The study also showed that the concerns of mom and dad regarding their children tend to differ. Fathers often behave as the ‘buddies’ of their kids, and won’t be scared to engage in all sorts of fun and childish activities.
“My husband is a really great dad, but I do find marriage to be stressful. I’ve had to put so much energy into my marriage,” one of the responders said.
The researchers claim that moms, on the other hand, are more worried about the more serious things, such as discipline, health, and education. Because of this, the relationship between a mom and her child can be perceived differently by the latter, which can also be a major reason for stress.
The paper speaks of the ‘bad cop’ syndrome, and it often results in discussions between both parents.
The solution, as with most things, is communication.
In order to prevent stress caused by this, it’s important that both parents communicate well and often and create unity. There’s no point in one parent forbidding something while the other allows it – both parents have to form one cohesive unit when it comes to raising children.
Most women in the study felt that they had to take care of too many things, so it’s not a bad idea to share some of the tasks and chores (such as helping for school, making sure they take their vitamins et cetera).
Speaking of chores, that’s another major point of frustration.
Even though ‘childish’ husbands seem to cause the most stress, an uneven balance in doing the household chores causes stress in about 20 percent of all households. Sometimes, all of the chores can be just too overwhelming, especially if there’s additional work such as paying the bills or shopping for groceries.
In other words, finding a balance to split up these chores, tasks, and responsibilities is key.
The ‘time stress’ phenomenon was the third major stress factor.
Everybody knows what it feels like to deal with too many things in too little time. Rushing things is never a good idea, and when something goes wrong, moms tend to blame themselves for it. Even if a mistake wasn’t their fault at all, moms feel guilty because the household is mostly their responsibility.
“I feel like I am figuring out a lot about parenting on my own without the input of my husband. This stresses me out because when something goes wrong, it is all my fault,” one of the moms in the research told.
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Figuring out time management together, between both parents, can greatly reduce stressful situations such as these.
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