People who have healthy relationships aren’t advertising it on social media
This will save your next or current relationship.
Kate Miano
04.20.21

Social media has become a massive part of most of our lives. And, there is a huge tendency to post about everything going on in your life, from meals at restaurants to every time you see your friends. But, is there a line that can get crossed?

Pexels - Omkar Patyane
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Pexels - Omkar Patyane

Turns out there is. And, people are learning more and more all the time that social media may not be the best thing for them, at least not all the time. Social media has been training us to want constant validation from our online “friends”. But in the end, that can have a huge strain on our relationships.

We’ve been taught to crave online validation.

At one point or another, we’ve all spent too much time trying to get the perfect pic or writing the wittiest caption. And doing so can be fun! The fun parts of it are why we all got so into posting on social media in the first place.

Pexels - Mwabonje
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Pexels - Mwabonje

But what’s also ended up happening is that we’ve trained our brains to constantly expect positive input from all sorts of people about our lives. It’s become so extreme that many people rely on “likes” and praise-filled comments to be happy. This can lead to a damaging thought pattern, where you think that what gets the most likes is better and makes you happier, which isn’t necessarily true.

People go way overboard trying to get the perfect relationship ‘gram.

Pexels - Hoàng Ngọc Long
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Pexels - Hoàng Ngọc Long

From elaborate promposals to over the top wedding proposals, to even way too intense wedding anniversary celebrations, people of all ages have increased the intensity with which they declare their love. Part of this is nice, it is important to make your partner feel like you care and value them. But, oftentimes, people are more preoccupied with doing what will get them the most attention on their social media, and not with nurturing their relationship.

Sometimes people post about their relationship to overcompensate for what’s missing.

Unsplash - Adam Nieścioruk
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Unsplash - Adam Nieścioruk

All those lovey-dovey posts you keep seeing may not be the whole truth. When people get too wrapped up in creating the perfect social media life, they might focus more on posting rather than facing the serious relationship problems that need to be addressed.

According to Psychology Today, this is most true for those over-the-top couple posts. Gwendolyn Seidman writes:

“Those who are less satisfied may post Facebook content that shows levels of affection that they aren’t displaying in their actual offline relationship. These individuals then believe that engaging in these types of posts has helped their relationship.”

Pexels - Ken Ozuna
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Pexels - Ken Ozuna

While it isn’t bad to want your partner to feel special, it’s more important to make them feel special in person, rather than online.

Happy relationships are grown through quality time and attention.

Unsplash - Boyd Christiansen
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Unsplash - Boyd Christiansen

Often, the precious moments of a relationship are not the ones you can post a picture of on social media. Those midnight giggle sessions in bed that come out of nowhere? A deep talk that allows you to share your secrets and dreams without judgement? Those things don’t exactly make great Facebook posts. And, when you’re really caught up in the joys of a happy moment, you most likely won’t even be thinking about social media.

Spending too much time on screens takes away from nurturing a healthy relationship

Pexels - Ioannis Ritos
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Pexels - Ioannis Ritos

Contrary to the point in the last paragraph, if you spend too much quality time with your phone, you lose out on moments spent with your significant other. While you are trying to find just the right picture to prove to the world how much you love your partner, they are lonely and waiting for you to just share a nice dinner with you. Being addicting to our phones and online validation can breed resentment in a relationship pretty quickly.

Unsplash - Clem Onojeghuo
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Unsplash - Clem Onojeghuo

There are ways to make your relationship stronger, without social media.

Unsplash - SJ
Source:
Unsplash - SJ

Mystical Raven offers some good tips to help you build a great relationship. They say that the most important things to do are offline are planning special dates, communicating clearly, being honest, and apologizing and forgiving. If you do all these things, you and your partner won’t even need social media to feel like you have the best relationship in the world!

To learn more about healthy relationships, read this article.

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By Kate Miano
hi@sbly.com
Kate Miano is a contributor at SBLY Media.
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