Heads Up

Research shows that couples who fight often have deeper connections

May 14th, 2021

Conflict is inevitable—and according to science, a couple that argues together stays together.

When you get into a relationship with another person, you both come from worlds apart and will have many different views about things that can often collide with each other.

It’s because no two humans process life in the same way. No matter how compatible and in sync you guys are, a time will eventually come where your heads will clash.

And once the “madly in love” phase starts wearing off, which it will, you will start seeing the flaws that you once perceived as charming and lovely.

For any of these reasons, couples can occasionally or often find themselves in disagreements, which can quickly escalate to fights and drifting apart if left unattended.

And according to experts, it is healthy for your relationship. But before you react violently, hear me out first.

A survey in India shows that 44% of the responders attribute part of their marital success to how much they argue. They said that fighting more than once a week helps keep the lines of communication open.

Experts agree that instead of viewing arguing as a bad thing, relationship conflict can actually be healthy if you view it as an opportunity to learn more about your partner and how you can work together as a team.

Of course, it can be hard to view it that way when your blood is boiling, your tolerance has collapsed, you’re drowning in a sea of disappointment, and all you see is red. The struggle is real!

However, this list enumerates the perks of couple fights, how to do it in a civilized manner, and more tips on how to achieve a successful romantic relationship.

According to marriage counselors, disagreements between couples can help them iron out small differences before they become major issues.

So why should a couple fight with each other when they can leave their differences aside and live in harmony, you might ask?

Because that is how they will understand each other better. Arguments and fights are not only inevitable but also necessary. It’s about communication and learning how to express what they need, what bothers them, and what they want.

All of this conveyed in a calm, healthy and constructive manner.

swiggle1 dot pattern2
Unsplash/Alvin Mahmudov Source: Unsplash/Alvin Mahmudov

And one of the healthy ways to express what bothers a couple is to let the other know, without the use of violence, is by using the “I” statement.

It’s not about putting the blame on anyone but letting each other be aware of the existing problem.

It’s also important to remember that there’s a difference between “good fighting” and “bad fighting,” and the latter can be as destructive as the former is beneficial.

swiggle1 dot pattern2
Unsplash/Anh Henry Nguyen Source: Unsplash/Anh Henry Nguyen

According to licensed marriage and family therapist, Kiaundra Jackson, if a couple tells her they never fight, she will be worried.

And while she emphasizes that fighting is indeed normal, there are certain red flags that might serve as signs that your problems would be better served by seeking the help of a counselor or therapist.

Constructive conflict can put a spark a relationship. Love needs a spark every now and then to keep it burning.

swiggle1 dot pattern2
Unsplash/Chermiti Mohamed Source: Unsplash/Chermiti Mohamed

Just like how constructive criticism works by providing a new perspective, and by opening our eyes to things we may have overlooked or never considered.

swiggle1 dot pattern2
Unsplash/Clay Banks Source: Unsplash/Clay Banks

If you want to know the secret to a successful marriage, check out the video below:

Please SHARE this with your friends and family.

Source: Brightside, Glamour