Love is a complicated emotion. If you’re into psychology, you’ll have heard of the attachment styles and how these can affect a relationship.
Often, when we’re in love, we may showcase negative behaviors, which theorists say are linked to the relationships we formed when we were children.
Anxious and avoidant attachment styles are particularly common in today’s world, and can send mixed signals to your partner – if you love them, why do pick fights or spend so much time away from home?
There’s no such thing as a 100% happy relationship – but there are things you can do to encourage this.
While falling prey to our ego and insecurities is easy, working on a relationship is the hard part – especially if you’re in a long-term partnership.
However, it’s certainly possible to have a wonderful relationship with your partner, no matter how long you’ve been together.
To get started, here are 10 things to tell your spouse every day to remind them that you love them:
1. “Good morning.”
A simple “good morning” has the power to brighten your partner’s day immediately. If you want to start the day off right, instead of simply acknowledging each other’s presence with a nod or a grunt (or perhaps not even acknowledging it at all!), be sure to make the time for a “good morning” – and perhaps also a kiss and a cuddle.
2. “How was your day?”
Conversation can get a little repetitive when you’re in a long-term relationship. There’s only so much you can tell each other about work until it gets predictable (unless you happen to have a super intense, ever-changing job, of course). Still, showing your partner that you care about what they’ve been up to and you’re interested to learn more about their lives is important.
3. “I love you.”
How often do you forget about these three words? When you first got together, they were on your lips almost all the time, but once a relationship progresses, they seem to lose their importance. If they’re rarely said in your relationship, bring them back. Reminding your partner that you love them will make them feel valued and important – two great feelings to have.
4. “I’m proud of you.”
Your biggest cheerleader should be your partner, and vice versa. When your partner has achieved something brilliant, make sure you acknowledge it, rather than taking on an almost expectant attitude of, “Well, I told you you’d do it, didn’t I?”. It’s also worth saying that you should never judge a partner for attempting something daring, even if you secretly feel a bit nervous for them.
5. “Thank you.”
Gratitude in a relationship has been shown to help maintain and strengthen our relationships. You don’t have to bow at your partner’s feet, but thanking them for the little things they do, whether taking out the trash or treating you to a date night, will make them feel more invested in your relationship. They’ll want to do that nice thing, because they know their ego will be boosted as a reward.
6. “How are you?”
When was the last time you actually asked about your partner’s feelings? Perhaps you don’t feel you need to, if they tend to be really open with you as it is. But some people are naturally less likely to bring up a conversation about feelings, especially if they’re dealing with some pretty dark or upsetting emotions. Checking in with your partner won’t only make them feel like you care – it’ll also ensure that you can hold their hand throughout life’s tough spots and offer invaluable support.
7. “You’re beautiful/handsome.”
One of the reasons you were probably attracted to your partner was their looks. But when you see the same face every day, it’s easy to forget how attractive you find your partner. It’s definitely worth reminding them – and yourself – that you think they’re sexy, especially if they’ve made more of an effort than usual.
All relationships have their disputes, and if you’re a particularly stubborn person, you might find them hard to recover from. But learning how to say “sorry” when you’ve hurt your partner – whether you think you’re wrong or not – can help repair the relationship and get you back to your comfortable selves again.
9. “I disagree.”
It’s normal to have valid and different opinions in a relationship. If you and your partner were clones of one another, your conversations would be very boring. So when you disagree, don’t be afraid to say it – just be careful not to take the “I’m right, you’re wrong” approach, which will only end in an argument.
It’s important to have your own space throughout the day, but it’s a little sad if you’re in a long-term relationship and you don’t end the day with your partner by your side. Unless one person has to go to bed unnaturally early or late because of work schedules, make sure you find the time to say goodnight – preferably when you’re lying side-by-side in bed.
And that’s it: 10 things to say to your partner in a happy relationship.
How many of these things have slipped out of your vocabulary? Start adding them back in from today onwards – and watch as your love blossoms.
Looking to show how much you care on your anniversary? Check out the video below for some great celebration ideas!
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